Things That Suck

 We were told by someone we love dearly that we may be sugarcoating the truth a little here at blog central, and in hindsight fear she might be right. In an effort to set the record straight, we thought it might be helpful to make a list of things that suck, so here we go in no particular order:

1. That the words 'pediatric oncology' are ever said together.
2. That RJ needs a tube to breathe. Which also makes it so that he can't speak.
3. That he has to make a list of all the foods he wants but can't eat right now.
4. That every bodily function is painful.
5. That nobody can tell us the answer to the ultimate question: When?
6. That the medicine that will make RJ better will temporarily make him feel crappy.
7. That he is exhausted, but can't sleep more than an hour or so at a time.
8. That it will be awhile before Sophie can lick his face again. (Sophie is the dog, so really, that is okay.)
9. That the joy that should surround the birth of his sister is overshadowed by worry that she will come before things are stable.
10. That one mother, however strong, is asked to carry such an unbearable burden.
11. That RJ missed out on the last warm days of the year, stuck in a darkened room.
12. That he has absolutely no control over anything.
13. That he is always hot. Or cold.
14. That there are so many tubes sticking out of him they are impossible to count.
15. That the machines that keep him going beep constantly.
16. That it's hard to hold his hand or hug him properly because of all the tubes.
17. That you have to watch his fear and frustration, knowing there is nothing you can do to help.
18. That no amount of wishing or praying will make it all better right now.
19. That this blog has to exist at all.

We however, are eternal optimists here, so we had to include a few things that don't suck (at the risk of sugarcoating the truth):

1, That both RJ and Jessica are truly amazing people.
2. That his type of lymphoma has a very good success rate.
3. That while the tumors grow quickly, they die quickly too.
4. That they have so many people around them who will do anything to help.
5. That even through all of the incredible pain and frustration, RJ can still make you laugh.
6. That his bone marrow and spinal fluid are clear.
7. That this truly sh*&ty time won't last forever.
8. That the hospital is full of wonderful, caring doctors and nurses who focus on RJ.
9. That his room has a fast internet connection.
10. That one day, this will all be an awful memory.

That's all we could come up with here at blog central, but you have to give us a break as it is approaching midnight. Feel free to add to either list in the comments below.